Addicted to meth to cope with pain...help?

I had over a year clean. I was going to meetings, I was doing step work, had a sponsor and all that. However, I found out in April that my daughter was sexually assaulted by a guy that was supposed to be my best friend and he was living with me. She was only 2 at the time. And I felt so guilty and ashamed from being unable to protect her that I later relapsed in July. It's been a mess since. I lost my house, lost physical custody of my daughter, I am living in a homeless shelter and I am engaged to a man who is currently in jail. I am addicted to meth bad this time. I just can't cope with letting her down more than with just the assault. I let her down when I relapsed and lost my home when I swore to her I wouldn't relapse again. But here I am and I don't have enough respect for myself to want to be clean for myself but to do it for her and my fiance isn't enough. What do I do? Not to mention the guy that hurt her got away with it because there was no physical evidence. She is attending therapy for PTSD at 3 years old. I feel like a terrible mother...
kasey.michelle
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