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  • I have to do this on my own with no one knowing.

    @Ari_Z_1993 I was doing good the last time I was on here. But lately I’ve been fucking up big time, even tho I’ve been getting help from a lot of different people. They just have no idea how hard this shit is. I worked my ass off my whole life to become the person I am today. I’m a bad person, it’s not just addiction that I’m fighting, I need and want to change my whole life and who I am. That’s what makes fighting addiction even harder, the fact that it’s not just that that I need to change. I need the help, talking to people that know where I’m coming from, that kind of shit. Idk about treatment, I’m scared as fuck about that. I’m stuck in that water and trying to learn how to live with my demons. It’s just so damn hard. Sorry I’m kinda rambling right now, just in a lot of fucking pain, it’s killing me.
    Chris
  • I have to do this on my own with no one knowing.

    Hi. Good to hear from you. I don't know wtf is going on with your life. But I do want to tell you that bad people can change. Now, I don't believe you are a bad person. Maybe you've done shitty things, I wouldn't know. But shitty people can get better. You are only defined by your mistakes if you throw in the towel now and decide to be shitty forever. Bad people can become better.

    Don't be terrified for treatment. Shit, I'd be more terrified of giving up or accepting my fate. Don't be terrified of getting help.

    Stranger
  • Demons

    I'm here!

    Stranger
  • Staying sober

    @carlos.ladner Wow that's amazing! Yeah by the grace of god is the only way he's not in jail for life DAMN
    That good you found a way to make it work. I had to do everything on my own after I visited with victims. If I didn't meet them I don't think i would've been able to kick it by myself. Gotta stay motivated for life bro B)

    Stranger
  • Staying sober

    Well @Chris im still sober. I tried meetings again same thing. I just can't do it. I've never been hugged by so many men in my life. Lol I just been going to church and keep doing what I'm doing seems to be working. Stopped going to counseling too. That wasn't helping anything. If anything it was giving me more problems. Lol.. Well I found out the other day that my pastor actually didnt get caught robbing banks. After he shot 2 armed guards and got away, later he turned himself in. Pretty amazing I think. He's such a great guy I can't even imagine him doing that. He's been saved 31 years now and is running two halfway houses helping people getting out of prison and off drugs. The sheriff actually came and preached last Wednesday. That was pretty cool. Sheriff and convicts.
    ChrisStranger
  • Finding healthier coping mechanisms

    You will need to tough it out for the early on stages of quitting because your body and mind is dependent on it but once you are past that hump your energy levels will stabilize and become normal!

    Stranger
  • Finding healthier coping mechanisms

    your natural energy won't build up if you keep weakening it with substances!!!!

    Stranger
  • Finding healthier coping mechanisms

    Are you aware that all that will ware off and it will become a nightmare
    Stranger
  • Help

    The first step is admitting you have a problem and want to stop so that's good. Have you looked into rehabs? Or tried to find meetings that you can go to?

    Stranger
  • I have to do this on my own with no one knowing.

    nah fuck that, see this is why its nearly impossible to do on your own, your head is going to keep telling you "one more time" until its so loud its all you can hear. Addiction has never been a matter of will power, it's always a matter of mental health. Eventually your will power is gonna lose out when "one more time" sounds way better than anything you're doing or could do at the time. There is so much help out there available to you. Call FAN, they will get you connected with the correct services for you to find true lasting sobriety. 833-811-1505

    Stranger
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