Why do I struggle so much not to use....

im an addict that cant not use for more than a week. i go to counseling twice weekly. my doc is meth. i shot it for 4 years but i quit in 2014. i only snort or eat it now. i am on 3 yr deferred felony probation and have 120 hrs of community svc which i already started plus i work a full time job as a medical asst. i am a functioning addict but its not like i have to use every day... its weird.. but when i get the want then im gonna use regardless of what i have to do. im educated. i have a wonderful family, bf, and support system... wtf is wrong with me...?


  • Simply put, you are addicted, you can debate the whys and hows but at the end of the day you are habitually using the substance. Try a local support group who can keep you accountable or consider rehab. Do not accept that you are a slave to your D.O.C., you can beat this!

  • Hard drugs really put a toll on your body. think of your loving family and you owe it to them and yourself to try and live as long and healthily as possible. Let that be your motivation for beating this addiction. You found an addiction recovery forum so deep down you must want to change for the better!

  • Does your family know about your habit?

    It really helps to have your support group aware of your addiction; it's hard BUT the upside is that they can keep you accountable.

  • yes they know. but its hard to talk to them. my parents have never been addicts and they dont understand. my bf either. ive surrounded myself with good people and try t9 stay away from all the bad influences but its everywhere...
  • It's true, bad influences are everywhere.. so are good ones! It's up to you to make sure you don't fall on the wayside. Best of luck and if you ever feel the need to use, please reach out to anyone, I know we are just faces on the internet but I hope you can find the support you need..

  • I agree with the above poster.. It's awesome you recognize you have a great support group.. Don't let them, and yourself, down!

  • I think the fact that you have surrounded yourself with good people is an excellent start, also that you are honest with them. Accountability is key. You go to counseling, but are you attending meetings? They can be an amazing help when "the urge" strikes. You can be dying to use, but attend an hour meeting and vent to people who know EXACTLY what that feels like and come out feeling much better. Good luck and keep us posted! We're here for you!

  • How have you been @sara.pitchford ? Wanted to check up on you.

  • I think the more you keep positive ppl around you the better it is for u or anyone that is a addict. I learned along time ago to also keep buisy boardom can be the fastest way to relapse. But sounds like your doing good keep up the good work prayers for ya.

  • agree with your point about boredom...

  • what is that quote? idle hands are the devil's workshop?

  • I am still struggling but was accepted to treatment in Florida and Im in Oklahoma. I have no money to get there but the tx center said they would help me get there and i could pay them back later which is really cool. I havent been able to go yet because I havent gotten it ok'ed through my job yet bc if i lose my job i lose my insurance... then hoe would i pay for treatment?
  • @sara.pitchford So glad to hear that you were accepted into treatment! I hope your job gives you the green light to take the time off you need. You should check your employee handbook also to see if there is anything about time off for such things.

  • edited June 2018

    Hey Sara - they can't fire you for going to treatment. You are protected by the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA). it's a federal law that requires employers to provide protected employees with a leave of absence for up to 12 weeks in a 12 month period for certain medical and family reasons. These medical reasons can be anything from childbirth, to personal medical emergencies, or taking care of a family member with a serious health problem. If you intend to go to rehab protected by the FMLA, you do have to give your employer prior notification - but if you request it, by law you should be able to take the time unpaid.

  • You are addicted. Did you discuss with you BF about it? Ongoing advancements in medical technology have paved the way for workplace drug testing to see whether someone has recently used any kind of drug. Maintaining a drug-free environment is an essential part of workplace safety. And if it will happen, you might be jobless. Think before taking any kind of drugs. https://www.addictionrehabcenters.com/drug-testing-at-the-workplace/addictionrehabcenters.com/drug-testing-at-the-workplace/

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