Staying sober

Sobriety, getting clean is the easy part
The hardest part is staying clean
You have to really want it
The more you work at it the more consistent you become to make it happen Mind over matter yeah its not always easy but think of all the negative things your addiction has caused and how far its brought you every time you use remember it only get worse && ONLY YOU CAN MAKE IT BETTER



  • I never managed to stay sober until I visited with victims of drunk drivers. Ever since then I stopped thinking about myself and how things impacted me and I started thinking about the damage you can potentially do to others. One lady told me about her 7 year old daughter that was run down and killed as she got out of the car to go to the bus stop. There was a lot of pictures of her as a super happy kid with 3 older siblings.There also was pictures of the aftermath and a video of the funeral. Mind over matter was easier for me since that afternoon and I think I just needed something to make everything real and seriously open my eyes.

  • Hi friend. Thanks for the support today! I know this forum is small but I do love this supportive, genuine, and kind community. <3

    @chris i'm glad you woke up and realized how selfish drunk driving is. a lot of people never reach that "wake up call" unfortunately

  • you never see a wake up call coming it just hits you, I didn't even realize what I was doing and that I was out of my mind.

  • what's really helped me is taking my recovery day by day, one of my fave quotes that really keeps me going is "if you are facing in the right direction, all you need to do is keep on walking"!!!

    sara.pitchfordNClarke2017jedi jennanuh
  • Hi i was hooked on roxicodone for like 10 years. My Dr. Was over prescribing me and it got to be a real problem. I got off of them about 6 months ago. I had to do it at home by myself because no rehab would accept me because of me being in a wheelchair and having some health issues going on. I have started going to counceling and think its the biggest bunch of crap. I'm not learning g anything she says I'm supposed to be on a 12step program. Its been 6 months she still hasn't even told me what the 12 steps are. I just feel like its not helping at all. I went to my first NA meeting the other day. Everyone introduced themselves and that was it. I don't know how what I'm doing is supposed to help me. I feel like I'm better off on my own. If this what outpatient programs are I'm just gona quit. If anything its making me want to use. I don't know what to do. I'm trying to do what I'm supposed to. I've never tried to get Clean
  • You need a support group but sometimes the nearest AA or NA isn't the right group of people. It's the same with a therapist. If you've genuinely given them a shot then it's ok to shop around for the right support group that helps you. There are alternatives of AA. Have you looked into SMART recovery groups? There are online meetings you can try out first. It's ok to be picky about your support group. But the important thing is to NOT QUIT YOUR RECOVERY, do NOT use. You have made so much progress. Think of it this way. The support groups you've found haven't helped yuo, but you've stayed sober. That's a testament to your own personal strength, which is truly incredible. Now keep that strength in the meantime, do NOT go back to using. while you find a group that works for you.

  • @carlos.ladner what is it about AA that does not appeal to you, is it the steps themselves or the people?

  • Well both. All they did at the meeting was everyone introduced themselves talked about how much that meetings would help them. I have yet to even find out what the 12 steps are. I've been going to couceling for about 3 months. First once a month now every 2 weeks. The first visit she gave me some papers that was step 1. After 3or 4 more visits I asked about step 2 she give me more papers that say step 1 also. I'm supposed to list the things in my life that was unmaniginable in my life before and then after I was abusing. I feel if I didnt have problems when I started all this I'm definitely gona have some now. It just seems a Lil redundant
  • Ari_z. No I haven't looked into any SMART groups. Where do I find these at. I will try to see if I can find something. I just feel like what I'm doing is a waste of time. Everything I read said it takes more than willpower. That u need to learn tools to stay clean so thats what I'm trying to do. So far willpower is the only thing I have and I think that is all it takes. Its the only thing thats kept me clean thus far. I think I'm better of just relying on myself
  • Ok I just looked up the 12 steps and I feel I've already did all that on my own. I looked for SMART group meetings. They don't have any in my area. I'm just gona have to do this alone like I've did everything else all my life
  • I'm sorry you weren't able to find a good group near you. I know it's not much but you are welcome to message me if you need to talk to anyone.

  • @carlos.ladner you should look in to these! Best wishes to you bro, hit me up on here if you want

     Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS)
     LifeRing Secular Recovery (LSR)
     Celebrate Recovery (Christian Support)

  • Thanks so much @Chris I'll check them out
  • edited February 2018

    @carlos.ladner did you ever find any help out there??

  • I had never heard of the others. Glad to hear there are more.

  • Well I've found some Christian support. Found this church near me that focuses a lot on addiction. One of my friends has been bringing me. They have like a bible study on Tuesdays and Thursdays and then church on wed. & sun. I like it so far I guess. Gives me something positive to do. The preacher used to be an addict and bank robber. Most of the people there are recovering. So far so good I guess
  • How would one even be part of a group if they do not like speaking in front of people :/
  • edited March 2018

    Wow @carlos.ladner that priest must have some interesting stories. I'm glad you found a group of people you jive well with. That's awesome.

  • @carlos.ladner please get some bank rober stories to bring back to the forum... PPLLEEAASESEE!!!!!!

  • @Chris all I've heard so far is that he robbed 4 banks here in Hattiesburg Ms. And shot 2 armed guards at Kessler federal credit union. Not sure how long ago this was but I think he did 6 years in prison and turned his life around. He says if there's $100 laying on the ground now with no one around he won't pick it up because he didnt earn it. I'm sure I'll hear more I'll let yall know
  • Damn, that's a pretty cool history. The pastors are my church was nice but were really dry, lol. I'm glad he could turn his life around - I think being able to talk to someone like that, and being able to really pick his brain, would give me a lot of inspiration to be better than yesterday.

  • @carlos210 I don't like speaking in front of others either. I went to a meeting just to listen. Didnt really care for it but I found a good church that focuses around addiction. So I just go and listen
  • I'm similar. I don't really like public speaking but I do enjoy absorbing what people say, listening, and observing.

  • I only speak to tell my ridiculous stories! Like the one time my friend drank a whole bottle of gin and woke up in bed with a bodybuilder chick.

  • edited March 2018
    @carlos.ladner i regret to inform you that can’t do this alone. Ask anyone who has tried if you can find any still alive. Sorry to be harsh but that’s the reality. Most people don’t like going to meetings at first, but there is where you will like minded
    people who have been there and know how to help u
  • hi @ryank32 to tag someone properly i think you need to use quotation marks. that's what worked for me!

    i also agree the value in a support group.. it helps keep you accountable (and also opens to your eyes to how much people are in similar or harder situations!)

  • @ryank32 well I've tried going to meetings. It just made me want to use. I feel I'm better off not going if its gona do that to me. I've did it on my own thus far so yes I can do it alone. I have to. No rehab facility would accept me because of medical conditions I have going on. I've been clean 8 months and no thoughts of going back.
  • @carlos.ladner I did end up going it by myself(with forum buds) after talking with a counselor one on one weekly sessions for 9 months that did nothing. Been behaving myself successfully since 2012 :)
    I'm thinking you got this!

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