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Why is rehab not an option? Because you lost your insurance? I ask because in my experience this long of use and what sounds like a serious heroin dependence really does require medically assisted detox - not something you can do at home alone. I strongly suggest you seek professional treatment. Maybe chat with the people who manage this site and see if they can suggest anything. You really shouldn't try and do this alone.
Thanks for responding guys. I guess someone on Facebook was saying it's like a relapse because there's a tiny bit of alcohol in it and if you drink enough you are thirsty for more... hence, addiction / addictive behavior. I feel like I avoided real alcohol so that was good. But the truth is I did wish I had the real thing. Playing with fire like you said.
Hey Sara - they can't fire you for going to treatment. You are protected by the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA). it's a federal law that requires employers to provide protected employees with a leave of absence for up to 12 weeks in a 12 month period for certain medical and family reasons. These medical reasons can be anything from childbirth, to personal medical emergencies, or taking care of a family member with a serious health problem. If you intend to go to rehab protected by the FMLA, you do have to give your employer prior notification - but if you request it, by law you should be able to take the time unpaid.